I have a really guilty pleasure of pulling oracle cards and watching group tarot readers online. It’s similar to how some people like watching 90 Day Fiancé or Top Chef. I don’t do it all the time, but I get curious about energies and I listen for synchronicities. After all—we see the world as we are. Whatever I hear is what I am meant to, and perhaps what I need to use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) for. One reader says, “Take what resonates and leave the rest, because it was meant for someone else.”
Hearing the Message
I liken it to the friend (or parent) who gives you advice over and over and you don’t hear it until you are in a place where you can hear it; It gives me clues to where I am in my own world and own head and what ego-trips, limiting beliefs, or self-talk loops are in my way. Sometimes I used to flip a coin if I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat; the coin flip would either make the choice for me, or I’d realize I was disappointed in the outcome and know I actually wanted the other meal. This is what my guilty pleasure helps me suss out.
Just after Thanksgiving I was listening to an online reader who said, “You’ve been doing so much work, your soulmate is on the way.” I was really excited and intrigued at the idea. I had been doing the classwork for Learning To Find Love, a specialty relationship Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) training. I’m open to the possibility there’s someone I’ll gel with out there, as much as I like being independent and alone.
The idea also was exciting in an anxiety-producing way. You know… the type of excitement where you want something but you are scared to have it? A week later I found myself unable to sleep and thought I’d listen to another tarot reader for the first week in December.
She pulled the Twin Flame card and said, “You have gone through challenges and upheaval but Cancers are in a new place. Get ready for your Twin Flame.”
Cue The Brain’s Resistance
Now I really started to get nervous. What would that look like to actually have a long-term partner again? If I found one in the U.S would I get “trapped” here forever? If he was from another country, would I end up moving and leaving my people behind, forever? Would I lose my freedom, my individuality?
My EFT Relationship Coaching instructors have said over and over, “The right person makes a relationship easy.” I can have everything I want and I won’t lose myself? My brain doesn’t quite process. Society and experience tell me that’s not true.
Tapping Through It
I did a bunch of EFT (also known as tapping) work with my fellow classmate around the fear of actually finding a life partner that would suit. I put my EFT to the test, confident and egotistically sure I’d done the work and couldn’t be triggered. Instead of turning on my music one morning, I decided to listen to a third tarot reader. She also pulled the soulmate card. Let me tell you–I’ve never seen this kind of consistency between readers before.
Then I had to process the next aspect of fear. What if I decide not to go to Costco and that’s where I was supposed to meet him? Perhaps I missed him because I was in my head, ungrounded & not paying attention? Suddenly, the fear of NOT finding him seemed to outweigh the idea that I would. Then, I got to use EFT to clear that. Now I’m just chilly cool. If he shows up he does, if not, no big deal. Perhaps my soulmate is around and it’s just not the right time yet. Who knows? I certainly don’t claim to.
I had to get rid of leftover BS from past relationships that were preventing me from finding someone or getting into a relationship again. After all, maybe what I was actually meant to learn was that I needed to do work around my fears of having a partner and my resistance to it so I can help others. Perhaps I get to also let go of the idea it has to be ‘now.’ I know my clients would LOVE it if I found someone local and never moved away again. My traveling spirit doesn’t see that happening. Maybe I’ll tap on that next.
My Question for You
If the genie in the bottle or the psychic or the angel came and told you your future, what would scare and excite you the most? What emotions (or belief, judgement, resistance, observation, etc.) need to be cleared for your own healing process so you can accept the happiness you deserve?
Maybe you already know what your biggest fear is. Or maybe it’s hidden under a layer of self-talk, even the talk seems to be positive. Like “I’m amazing and independent and strong and I don’t need anybody.” We can hide fear and resistance behind ‘positive’ ideas just as much as behind ‘negative.’
Let’s explore this together! Set up a Health & Healing Strategy Session to learn how EFT tapping can help you discover and move through your blind spots and stuck spaces.